Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Persistent rumblings

Lately I've been in a bit of a creative funk. I suspect this largely stems from my current love/hate relationship with my career. Some days I love what I do. Other days, I loathe it. Yes, yes, I'm blessed to have a job at all given the tight economy. And I don't mean to sound ungrateful as I appreciate all the opportunities that having a job has afforded me -- you know, stuff like dinners out, winter and summer vacations, swimming classes for the kiddo, cooking classes for me and other such experiences that having a decent-paying career has allowed me to have. I'm fortunate. I know.

But what happens when you crave the pursuit of other creative interests but long hours at the office prevent you from exploring them? Should you contain the persistent rumblings of entrepreneurial hunger all for the sake of practicality (hello, mortgage, car payment and freaking preschool tuition!)? And what do you do when the passion that was once reserved for your career has now been slowly and inadvertently re-directed toward other avenues??? Sigh...

I remember the day when I first learned the meaning of "Carpe Diem". It was in an honors English class during a discussion of "The Catcher in the Rye" that Mr.Schmenk talked to us about the importance of seizing the day. While I appreciated the discussion, I remember thinking to myself, "Duh, how hard is it to seize the day? Just know what you want and go for it!" I was 16-years-old... Young, naive, full of optimism and ideals... free of any real responsibility aside from fulfilling my potential. I was filled with an unending supply of unbridled energy, all of which went towards knowing what I wanted and going for it. It was all so... spectacular and full of promise.

Looking back, I think I could probably learn a thing a two from that kid.

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